Pirates Only Want You For Your Booty - Shiver Me Timbers!

Zeon Santos 0

Pirates Only Want You For Your Booty by Odysseyroc

Pirates are a mighty singleminded group, and their main mission in life is to get their hands on some booty. Some plunder treasure troves looking for a payday, others storm villages and shake down residents for their share of the loot, and then there are those who have a totally different definition of booty. These swingin' swashbucklers know the value of a bird in the hand, and they can't wait to get some alone time with a damsel in distress so they can show her that pirates really know how to pillage!

Bring some yar matey yucks to your geeky wardrobe with this Pirates Only Want You For Your Booty t-shirt by Odysseyroc, eye patch and parrot not included.

Visit Odysseyroc's Facebook fan page, official website, Tumblr and Twitter, then head on over to his NeatoShop for more ridiculously cool designs:

Skeleton Jack's Halloween Town Pumpkin Ale You'll Shoot Your Eye Out Time, Space, Graffiti Ken and Ryu's Street Fighting Academy

View more designs by Odysseyroc | More Funny T-shirts | New T-Shirts

Are you a professional illustrator or T-shirt designer? Let's chat! Sell your designs on the NeatoShop and get featured in front of tons of potential new fans on Neatorama!

Photographer Reveals The Cheesy Glory Of The Holy Land Experience

Zeon Santos 0

Portland based photographer Daniel Cronin made a pilgrimage across the country to Orlando, Florida and beheld the glory that is The Holy Land Experience theme park, and he discovered a religious theme park is an extremely amusing place after all!

The Holy Land Experience is fully of kitschy biblical experiences, like watching Jesus “walk on water”, and plenty of horrifying experiences too, like witnessing the crucifixion all up close and personal-like.

The one thing THLE is lacking, however, is rides, because who needs rides when the whole park is such a moving experience?!

THLE is run as a non-profit by the Trinity Broadcasting Network, which was co-founded by Tammy Faye Bakker and is now run by equally cheesy "religious personality" Jan Crouch.

Jan couldn't help but put a cardboard cutout of herself in the park, standing right next to Jesus, because modesty is clearly one of her strong suits.

Daniel's photographic journey through this horrifyingly tacky theme park is shot in a very tongue-in-cheek manner, which seems like a natural way to shoot the park because how could anyone take this place seriously?

-Via Juxtapoz

13 Halloween Costumes That Fail So Hard They Win

RemyCarreiro 0

                       Image Credit: The guy who took it and will never admit to it so we'll never know.

You ever see a Halloween costume that is SO awful, it transcends that status and becomes its own work of art? I have, and it is amazing. A costume that is so bad it is awesome can sometimes be better than a costume that is just plain awesome. Does that make sense? Just look at the Homer Simpson above as a perfect example of this ideology. It is awful, it is terrifying, but if you were at a Halloween party with that and went home, that would be the costume would you be most likely to remember still, days later. That says something. Good or bad, I'm not sure, but it says something.

So if you take as much pleasure in Halloween faux-pas as I do, this list of 13 Halloween Costumes That Fail So Hard They Win will be right up your alley. You have to give these people credit for trying. Not a lot of credit, mind you, but at least some. D for effort seems fair.

Men Try On Ladies’ Sexy Halloween Costumes

Miss Cellania 0

(YouTube link)

Have you ever heard the saying, “What’s good for the goose is good for the gander"? Well, take a gander at these guys who are willing to try on sexy Halloween costumes designed for women. Sure, the costumes are overly revealing, poorly-constructed, and mostly just dumb. But at a few points, the fellows start to enjoy it. -via Geeks Are Sexy

Conan O'Brien and Madeleine Albright Get into a Hilarious Twitter Fight

John Farrier 0

Conan O'Brien is a comedian and late night talk show host. Madeleine Albright was the U.S. Secretary of State from 1997 to 2001.

At the age of 77, Albright is not known for stunning good looks. But, then again, neither is O'Brien. Nonetheless, O'Brien decided to make fun of Albright's appearance in a recent Tweet.

Albright responded and clearly bested him in the verbal duel. 

-via Popehat

13 Classic Scenes that Explain How Horror Movies Work

Miss Cellania 2

There are certain aspects of horror films that tend to get used over and over because they just work. If you want to craft a good story, you need to know how to harness the power of darkness, the long tracking shot, the juxtaposition because ordinary life and the nightmare, the suspenseful reveal, and other aspects of storytelling on film. But honestly, you don’t have to care about filmmaking at all to enjoy this article, because it’s got video clips of classic scenes narrated to illustrate each concept, so you don’t even have to read anything. -via Metafilter

Canadian Hero Receives Standing Ovation in the House of Commons

John Farrier 5

(Video Link)

Kevin Vickers, the Sergeant-at-Arms of the Parliament of Canada, ended the terrorist attack in Ottawa yesterday by shooting the killer.

Many of Vickers's duties are ceremonial, such as carrying a decorative mace into the chamber of the House of Commons when it opens. But the more important responsibility of protecting the members of Parliament, employees, and visitors from violence is also his. Vickers took that duty very seriously yesterday when he retrieved a handgun from his desk, ran toward the gunfire, and slew the terrorist.

Parliament reconvened today. Vickers entered as he usually does during the ceremony. But this time, those assembled gave him a long, standing ovation for his service.

-via Ace of Spades HQ

Gritty Television Shows Get A Niceness Makeover

Zeon Santos 1

In the entertainment worlds of movies and television nice almost never appeals to viewers, unless the viewers are young and easily entertained.

Grown folks like a bit of grit with their story sandwich, which is why shows like Breaking Bad and Game Of Thrones have become mighty popular in the world of televised entertainment.

So what would our favorite shows look like after receiving a niceness makeover?

Probably a lot like these comic strips created by Tony Wilson of Dorkly, in which he presents nicer versions of four favorite TV shows- Game of Thrones, Breaking Bad, Hannibal and the most radical remake of them all- Thomas The Nice Engine. 

-Via GeekTyrant

I Can Has Brain Burger - This Cat Has Some Strange Cravings

Zeon Santos 2

I Can Has Brain Burger by Stephanie Jayne Design

Mister Mittens was hooked on cheeseburgers, and as you can imagine this addiction was ultimately his undoing. One day Mister Mittens choked on a cheeseburger and died, but a zombie virus running rampant through the feline populace brought him back to life hungrier than ever. He found himself craving a different kind of cheeseburger, something with a more unique flavor. Ground beef wasn't going to cut it any more- Mittens needed some grade A ground brains on a bun, and the humans all around him didn't seem to be using theirs...

Add some cerebral humor to your geeky wardrobe with this I Can Has Brain Burger t-shirt by Stephanie Jayne Design, it's deliciously dark and creepy cute!

Visit Stephanie Jayne Design's Facebook Fan Page, official website and Twitter, then head on over to her NeatoShop for more frightfully fun designs:

Occupy Stomach There's A Walking Carpet On My Starship Master Sword In The Stone Hello Dragon

View more designs by Stephanie Jayne Design | More Video Games | New T-Shirts

Are you a professional illustrator or T-shirt designer? Let's chat! Sell your designs on the NeatoShop and get featured in front of tons of potential new fans on Neatorama!

Grandma Fighting Cancer Knitted Herself a Head of Hair

Lisa Marcus 2

This is one 71-year-old grandmother who is practically the definition of cool. Rosemary Capitolo of San Jose, California may be suffering from ovarian cancer, but she's doing so in an upbeat, admirable frame of mind. Capitolo knitted herself a cap that resembled hair for her 2013 Halloween costume. This year, her hair gone due to the effects of chemotherapy, Capitolo is once again having fun with her knitted creation. Granddaughter Megan Shone shared this photo via Twitter, and unsurprisingly, it's become popular with people who enjoy examples of those who take life's bad turns with humor, strength and dignity. Visit Megan's Twitter account and Rosemary's Facebook page to keep up with these inspiring ladies.

-Via Bored Panda | Images: Megan Shone

A Little Girl Named Willow Has Totally Won Halloween Two Years In A Row

Zeon Santos 1

People post lots of pictures of their kids wearing costumes around Halloween, and they’re all undeniably adorable, but one little girl has won the award for mostest adorablest two years in a row.

Her name is Willow, and with a little help from her mother photographer Gina Lee she became an internet sensation before she could walk, all because her mom declared October "Dress Up Willow Month." 

Willow’s ability to slip effortlessly into character has made her Halloween costume photos especially popular with followers of Gina's Instagram account, who eagerly await the sets that come out each October.

Even though Willow has left her Hot Dog On A Stick days behind she's still having a blast playing dress up, and we can't wait to see how she has grown, and what she'll be wearing, next year!

You can see more of Willow's adorable Halloween costume photos here

Ten Hollywood Breakthrough Roles Landed by Stars Who Barely Spoke English

Lisa Marcus 1

Charisma and sex appeal are universal. That fact explains a number of Hollywood casting situations. For instance, it's one way musicians, models and others with no prior acting experience are able to pull off and even stand out in some film roles. Universal appeal also has led to certain actors and actresses being able to secure major Hollywood roles at a time when they speak little or no English. 

One such case is Antonio Banderas. Director Arne Glimcher cast Banderas in his 1992 film The Mambo Kings at a time when Banderas spoke no English. In fact, in order for Glimcher to clearly convey a request to Banderas that he learn English for the role, he had to use a translator to communicate with the actor. Banderas went on to do well in Kings, so well that his next role was in the Oscar winning Philadelphia with Tom Hanks. Mambo Kings director Glimcher said of Banderas,

"[Antonio] was very responsive, incredibly charming. I think he can seduce any woman, man, cat, dog or bird in the world.”

Read nine more cases of actors and actresses temporarily skating by on their screen presences here. 

Image Source  

What are Your Chances of Surviving a Plane Crash?

Miss Cellania 0

Neatorama presents a guest post from actor, comedian, and voiceover artist Eddie Deezen. Visit Eddie at his website or at Facebook.

What are your chances of surviving a plane crash? Contrary to popular belief, they're actually very good indeed: especially if you're in the cheap seats.

In the United States, between 1983 and 2000, there were 568 plane crashes. In 90% of them there were survivors, and out of the 53,487 people onboard, 51,207 survived. (Of course, the 9/11 tragedies changed all of our considerations about crashes. nonetheless, "deliberate" crashes are, of course, an infinitesimal possibility.)

According to Popular Mechanics magazine, the safest place to be in the event of a crash is at the back, well behind the wings, where there is a 69% survival rate. Sitting over (or just in front of) the wings reduces your chances of getting out alive to 56%. The worst place to be is right up in front in first class, where the survival rate falls to 49%. (A bit of dark irony there, as the VIPs and most affluent people are actually in the least safe, highest risk seats.)

According to the world's leading fire safety engineer, professor Ed Galea of the University of Greenwich, the biggest danger is actually seat belts. In an emergency, passengers panic and revert to what they are familiar with: they struggle to open them like a seat belt in a car, resulting in (sometimes fatal) delay.

Fire is, of course, a major problem, largely because of smoke inhalation. Your safest bet is to sit on the aisle close to an exit. Before takeoff, make a note of how many rows there are between you and the nearest exit. That way, even if the cabin is filled with smoke, you'll still be able to crawl your way out by feel.

Until recently, it was thought impossible for a passenger airliner to make a successful emergency landing on water. To prevent the plane from breaking up on impact, the pilot must slow down as much as possible -but without losing lift- so that the tail of the plane hits the water first.

The wings must be perfectly level: if one wing hits the water before the other, the plane will cartwheel and break up. The fuel must be used up or dumped: it's weight would cause the plane to sink, even if it did land successfully. Then there's the weather, and sea conditions, either of which could wreck the plane, no matter how calmly the pilot behaves.

Despite such unnerving obstacles and such a low margin for error, there have been at least a half a dozen successful emergency landings by airliners on water. The most recent and spectacular example occurred in January 2009, when an Airbus A320, US Airways Flight 1549, ditched in the Hudson River in New York.

Shortly after takeoff, the plane hit a flock of geese and had to make a forced landing on the water. The pilot did this perfectly, saving the lives of all 155 people on board.

(Image credit: Greg L)

Airline statisticians like to say that you are ten times more likely to be hit by a comet than to die in a plane crash. This is because, once every million years or so, an extraterrestrial body collides with earth. The next time this happens, it will probably wipe out half the earth's population. But as far as they know, the last time anyone was hit by a comet was 12,900 years ago.

It is definitely the case, however, that you are many times more likely to die in the taxi cab on the way to and from the airport than you are on the flight itself.

You Can Go Trick-or-Treating at George Washington's House

John Farrier 1

(Portrait by Rembrandt Peale)

Mount Vernon is the estate of George Washington. It's a historical site open to the public that features year-round events. This Halloween, children can go trick-or-treating there! Visitors can listen to Halloween-themed storytelling, play colonial-era games, and take a wagon ride. They can also sample chocolate as it was experienced during Washington's lifetime. 

(Photo: Mount Vernon)

The organizers will offer prizes to guests who have the best George and Martha Washington costumes.

-via Marilyn Terrell

Eight Things You May Not Know About The Terminator

Lisa Marcus 1

With the thirtieth anniversary of James Cameron's The Terminator now here, some people are looking back to the earliest days of the franchise. In addition to this excellent, early celebration of the film's anniversary over the summer, here are another eight facts about Cameron's tale of a cyborg assassin wreaking havoc. 

For now, I'll leave you with number six on the list, a dubious fact regarding casting. Disgraced former NFL player O.J. Simpson was considered for the title role. At the time, Simpson had a fair amount of success as an actor, having appeared in Roots, The Towering Inferno, among other movies. As the story goes, the studio suggested O.J. Simpson's name to James Cameron as a possibility for the role. Ironically, Cameron felt that no one would believe O.J. as a killer. 

-Via Uproxx | Image: CNN.com 

Air New Zealand's New Flight Safety Video

Miss Cellania 2

(YouTube link)

Air New Zealand is the official airline of Middle-Earth. And they take full advantage of the title, with a new flight safety video thst has an overwhelming Hobbit theme. This was directed by Taika Waititi, with appearances by Peter Jackson and Elijah Wood and cameos by Sylvester McCoy (Radagast the Brown), Dean O’Gorman (Fili),  and Weta Workshop co-founder Sir Richard Taylor. -via Hilary Gilbert

8 Realistic Sexy Halloween Costumes for Moms

John Farrier 1

It is trendy these days for people to wear sexualized Halloween costumes. I confess that I will succumb to the trend this year.

What will you wear? If you're a mom, you've got a lot of options. Suzanne Fleet has photographed 8 wonderful possibilities that reflect actual parenting. They're all really easy to make. You can probably assemble them from your everyday gear. What will you be--the Crazy Carpool Mom or the Dirty Delouser?

Maymo and Penny the Beagles Trick-or-Treat

Lisa Marcus 3

YouTube Link

Maymo and his little sister Penny (previously at Neatorama) want more than one offering of treats this Halloween. Their safest bet is to make a number of canine costume changes. After all, some treats they receive may be less than delicious. (I'm all for Richard Simmons, but I'd rather have a Snickers than a framed portrait of him.) -Via Laughing Squid

Fuzzy Wuzzy Logic - A Bald Bear's Existential Dilemma

Zeon Santos 2

Fuzzy Wuzzy Logic by Mark Heath

Fuzzy Wuzzy's life is one big existential conundrum, and although he has a keen intellect he has been stuck in a perpetual state of confusion for years, watching everythign he holds dear slip away as he tries to solve the logic puzzle that is his life. It's true that he is a bear, and immediately apparent that he has no hair, but what people don't know about Fuzzy is that he was a married family bear until someone asked the question that would change his life forever- "Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't fuzzy, was he?" From that day forward he spent all his time trying to prove that his life hadn't been one big lie...

Bring the story of one mixed up bald bear into the twenty first century with this Fuzzy Wuzzy Logic t-shirt by Mark Heath, and watch the "was he or wasn't he?" discussion begin!

Visit Mark Heath's official website, then head on over to his NeatoShop for more delightful designs:

Homeopathy Skeptic Entropy Seminar Pair O'Normal Events Poorly-Punctuated Equilibrium

View more designs by Mark Heath | More Funny T-shirts | New T-Shirts

Are you a professional illustrator or T-shirt designer? Let's chat! Sell your designs on the NeatoShop and get featured in front of tons of potential new fans on Neatorama!

The Refrigerator Candy Dispenser

Miss Cellania 3

Deric Peace said he’d replaced the ice in his refrigerator door dispenser with candy. He even posted this picture to reddit. It sounds like a great idea, but some were a bit skeptical as to whether it worked, so he had to show us a video.

(YouTube link)

Imagine getting a cup of Reece’s minis, peppermint patties, M&Ms, and Skittles anytime you want! He says,

Literally just came to me the other night, and I said, I don't really use the ice maker for ice, and I wonder...the next morning I spent about 40 dollars at Rite-Aid, and the woman who checked me out thought I was an idiot. Probably still am, but when I poured in the first batch of reese's cups, and they just poured out like I hit the candy jackpot, I was beside myself. I love candy, I love making things easier, and making non-useful things (to me) more so. That's really it.

But he has ideas for improving on his innovation.

Wash out the bin, and then fill with candy that is not wrapped. This is my next step, and I have a lot of candy to eat quickly. Good thing I have friends to share the burden with. I am not going back to ice, this usage is permanent.

He even posted another video to apologize for shooting the video in portrait mode -and to answer some more questions. In case you are wondering, Peace has no children. But I’m sure he will have lots of visitors!  

How I Killed The Spider - A Tale Of Immense Bravery

Zeon Santos 2

Are you one of those people who gets mighty proud every time you kill a pesky spiders in your house?

Then you’ll probably relate to this delightful comic strip by Poorly Drawn Lines, although you may want to take a more direct approach to your insect eradication.

How I Killed The Spider tells the harrowing tale of a man whose home has been invaded by a brown recluse spider, and the extreme bravery involved in his battle against the beast.

It made me rethink my policy on scooping the little buggers up and putting them outside unharmed, because any spider that can beat two counts of possession with intent to sell in a court of law is a force to be reckoned with!

Read the rest of this riveting comic strip here

-Via Cheezburger

Dachshund's Creek

Miss Cellania 0

(YouTube link)

Dawson’s Creek was a 1990s TV show about “life, love, and growing up.” And so is the remake Dachshund’s Creek, except this time around, the roles are played by weiner dogs named Gandalf, Winnie, Mocha, and Aurora. You don’t have to be a fan of the show, or even have seen it at all, to enjoy this version directed by Michael Immerman.  -via Time

25 Easy DIY Halloween Costumes You Can Make Last Minute

Jill Harness 1

Are you ready for Halloween yet? Don't worry if you're not -there's still plenty of time left to get ready. Even if you put things off as long as possible though, you can still create a great DIY Halloween costume in no time. Here are a few ideas in case you have to make your own Halloween costume last minute.

Silent Movie Stars

Here's an easy one for men or women. All you need is a black and white suit or dress (if it's 1920's style all the better), some gray cream makeup and some black eyeliner and black eye shadow to add some accents. To really sell the concept, it helps to bring along a title card too like this couple from Shrimp Salad Circus did.

Breakfast at Tiffany's

Just about every gal has a sleeveless black dress. Add a tiara, some long black gloves, a chunky necklace, a tiara and a long cigarette holder (available at most costume stores) and you have a Holly Golightly costume. Of course, you need to have some serious hair styling skills to pull this one off as well as Redditor CampingIsIntense.



You may not be able to paint like her, but you can easily look like Frida with only minimal effort. Just grab a peasant blouse, put your hair up with a few flowers and then draw in a bit of a unibrow. Megan Rose shows how simple it is.

Van Gogh

For red-headed male fans of art, you can always go as Vincent Van Gogh. Paint a few thick, impressionist brush strokes on a jacket, sport a collarless button up shirt and then apply a some broad streaks of makeup along your neck and face to complete the look. This cool costume was created by a friend of Redditor josh1510.


If you don't have any time to get tulle, but have crepe or tissue paper available, then consider making a pinata costume. Glue strips of the paper to a body suit and trim to make frills. For more detailed instructions, don't miss this post by Camille Styles.

Rosie the Rivetter

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New McDonald's Restaurant Looks Like a Lunch Box

John Farrier 2

(Photo: McDonald's Australia)

(Photo: McDonald's Australia)

To promote new menu items at McDonald's, the advertising agency DDB Sydney built a pop-up restaurant that looks like a lunchbox in the iconic McDonald's red and yellow. It's touring major cities in Australia, including Perth, Adelaide, Sydney, and Melbourne. McDonald's is particularly interested in using this facility to promote its new rump steak wraps.

(Video Link)

Here's a time-lapse video showing the lunch box restaurant being assembled.

-via Brand Eating

5 Scariest Haunted Toys

RemyCarreiro 2

(YouTube Link)

I believe it was Poltergeist that triggered my fear of toys in me, and I have carried it with me since I was a child. Something about a little, lifeless, object we play with that could come to life at any point is scary (and implausible, and silly, but go with it for a second because it is almost Halloween). 

The scariest part is, as you will from this list, there have been cases throughout history when toys have allegedly been possessed or haunted. With haunted dolls becoming so "in" again (wait, where they ever "in?"), seems a perfect time to drop this list on you of 5 toys that were said to be haunted. Now I know as much as the next guy that the likelihood of any of these stories being true is slim-to-none (a haunted N.E.S? Come on), like I said, it's Halloween. Just let go with it and have some fun for a moment. Oh, and if you are interested, I have a haunted Frisbee I am selling. 

Freaking thing just goes wherever it wants. Must be demons, right? Five bucks or best offer. Hit me up here, we can make it happen.

(older posts)